“This question takes me to an experience I had several years ago,” recounted Helina when asked about safe sex. “We had a scare of a urinary tract infection. We didn’t get tested before we started sleeping together and after the fact of having pains associated with the infection. We discussed and decided that we both needed to take tests for UTI, STI and so on.”
Helina’s experience speaks to the wisdom of getting tested and being aware of the risks involved in regards to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV.
One of the most common misunderstandings when it comes to sex between women is the notion that it poses zero risk of STIs and HIV. In other words, it is assumed that women who have sex with women do not need to practice safe sex because it is assumed the risk of STIs does not exist. This is a dangerous and risky misconception.
I think it is important to mention that in my past relationships, I never discussed safe sex.
Feven
“Safe sex between women is as important as safe sex between men and women even though there is so much misinformation out there,” says Feven, a lesbian who resides in Addis Ababa. “Women who have sex with women can also be exposed to sexually transmitted infections”.
The fact is that the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or HIV depends on the kind of sex you are having and with whom you are having it. Women who have sex with women are diverse and have multitude ways of having sex.
“[Safe sex] is very important since people have different sexual partners and experiences. The people they are seeing have also had other sexual partners. So since we don’t know people’s sexual histories, it is always best to be safe,” Helina added.
Infections can be transmitted in multiples ways such as through skin-to-skin contact, vaginal fluids, menstrual blood and sex toys that are shared. These possibilities of risk, however, are not discussed since sex between women is not a topic that can be safely brought up and discussed in Ethiopia.
“I think a lot of our hetronormative campaigns around safe sex or the general sex education have affected how we view women who have sex with women,” Feven said. “Many people tend to assume that STIs are only caused by sexual contact between men and women.”
In Ethiopia, the situation is further complicated due to a culture of silence around discussing sexual issues, even between heterosexuals.
“There is lack of resources regarding this issue and I hope younger women who have sex with other women have places where they can read and learn about safe sex,” Feven said.
According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services Office on Women’s Health(link is external) some of the STIs that women who have sex with women are at a higher risk for include:
- Bacterial vaginosis
- Chlamydia
- Genital herpes
- Human papillomavirus (HPV)
- Trichomoniasis
- Pubic lice
The good news is that these risks do not mean that you should avoid having sex with other women. It just means that you have to learn how to have safer sex.
The fact that women don’t have the resources to know how to keep themselves safe is problematic.
“It worries me a lot and I believe it’s not taken that seriously. And the information that the chances of giving or receiving infections are low doesn’t help,” Helina said.
The first step to safer sex is conversation.
“I think it is important to mention that in my past relationships, I never discussed safe sex. When the relationship isn’t stable, it is very hard [for me] to invest in these types of conversations,” Feven said.
An open discussion with sexual partners is a must and these discussions should include sexual health, safer sex methods, what types of activities to partake in and how to make them safer, testing for STIs and HIV. Ideally, all parties will be tested for STIs before sleeping together for the first time so that they all know their status.
It worries me a lot and I believe it’s not taken that seriously.
– Helina
In cases where that has not happened, these are some forms of protections to protect yourself and your partners from getting STIs and HIV according to the National Health Service in the UK:
- If you’re using sex toys, use a new condom for each partner or between penetration of different body openings. Sex toys should be washed with soap and water between sessions.
- Avoid oral sex if either of you has any cuts or sores in the mouth or on the lips, or use a dental dam. A dental dam is a latex or polyurethane (very thin, soft plastic) square, of about 15cm by 15cm, which you can use to cover the anus or female genitals during oral sex. It acts as a barrier to help prevent sexually transmitted infections passing from one person to another.
- Some infections can be transmitted by hands, fingers and mutual vulval rubbing. Wash your hands before and after sex.
- Wear latex gloves and use plenty of water-based lubricant for vaginal and anal fisting.
Stay safe and have fun.
