This is our “Excerpts from a Dairy” series. We publish excerpts of thoughts and reflections from emails, dairies and journals of people from the queer community. These excerpts could be complete entries or uncompleted and unstructured excerpts that show our personal thoughts and reflections about our lived experience.
We welcome submissions and they can be sent to email@example.com.
How difficult is it to live your life while constantly and daily navigating hate? As soon as I leave home and walk on the streets, someone makes a comment about what I am wearing, a taxi driver I don’t know goes on a monologue about the “spread of homosexuality” and it goes on. It requires a huge amount of mental preparation to reveal one’s real self to a close friend. After family members, the next group that is difficult to come out to is to close friends. While all sorts of topics are brought to the table, issues of identity remain shrouded in secrecy.
It has taken me a long time to come out despite us knowing each other for what seems like forever … on the day that I told you, you didn’t even ask me questions because you didn’t want to burden me with worry, you also didn’t change how you interacted with me. While we have never talked about these identities and the topic is new to you, you presented as if these issues were nothing new and you kept on talking about other issues. I remember asking myself, “Was all my worry for naught?” Your acceptance has taught me love and that true friendship does not allow the creation of conditions. The fact that many in my life have chosen to distance themselves after I came out to them has scared me, but it gives me hope when I see people like you.
I will never forget how you reacted when I told you that a friend had chosen not only to distance herself from me, but that she had actively berated me for being who I am. You sent me many texts and you emotionally supported me in my time of need. Your ability to emphatize with me despite not having personally experienced stigma and discrimination in your own life pleases me. I am truly lucky. I hope we will have many a year ahead of us. I would like to thank you for your love, advice and for always being by my side. I love you.
Your friend AW