The author of one of the articles in Nisnis magazine, “A Requiem for My First Love” had a spontaneous conversation over text about the article. The short conversation that follows is an example of the type of engagement that we hope to achieve with Nisnis. We need open conversations if we are going to foster a dynamic and progressive LBTQ community that is invested in growing. We would love to receive more of your views and your feedback. (Minor edits have been made.)
Author: What did you think of the article?
It is beautiful. Easy and relatable in a way that makes you think of your own first love.
Author: I thought I was being too damn sappy, was I?
It isn’t or it didn’t feel “too damn” sappy. And it is true, we measure people with the ones we have had true and meaningful relationships with.
Author: But it is not fair to the people you are dating. [My ex] had no chance of measuring up.
It doesn’t only mean for romantic relationships but platonic relationships as well. I can’t make new friends from whom I won’t receive the same love and kindness as from [my best friend].
I think it is okay to want what we have loved or have learned as long as we aren’t limiting ourselves to that expectation, which I don’t think you are doing. Dating [your ex] was a completely different experience from the get go – which means you are open to meeting people that are different.
It wouldn’t be fair if you are bringing the qualities of your first love to the people you date. It won’t be fair to speak of her constantly but to have that relationship as your model, I don’t honestly see any problem.
But sadly, there will only be one of your first love or that one unique romantic relationship that we live in memory of, it is sad but also beautiful that we could experience such love in the chaotic and fucked up world we live in.