Dating: What is dating like as a queer woman?

When I’m on my own, I’m a force of nature who is authentically herself, but when I’m with someone I am dating, I panic and can’t be myself because I fear for them. I don’t want people to attack or insult them just because they are involved with me! It’s a weird and disturbing feeling. 

Right now, I’ve made three rules [about dating] that I abide by: one, I don’t date women who aren’t independent; two, I don’t date women who aren’t fully aligned with who they are; and three, I don’t date women who aren’t at peace spiritually. I have made these rules based on my past experiences, which have made me go through hell and back. I’ve now accepted that if a woman doesn’t have those three things down, I’m not about to get involved with her. I know it’s asking a lot considering where we live, what we believe, what the norm is, how we grow up, and the religious shitshow we have regarding ourselves, but I can’t go back on myself by sacrificing my peace, which I value above all.

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