“You are friends with all your exes?” She asked me as we were just getting to know each other. “Oh you don’t support it?” I asked in confusion. She told me she doesn’t support the idea, she wasn’t joking. 

What do you think? 

I don’t think two people should stop having any form of relationship just because they dated in the past. Especially when the relationship they had wasn’t filled with toxicity or wickedness; they could have a conversation and look for better ways of relating to one another. Don’t get me wrong there are people I dated in the past that I never want to see again. But there are also exes that I have built genuine friendship with, of course with clear boundaries. Oftentimes, questions like the one I mentioned above come up on dates and play a huge role in whether the date continues or not. 

The same thing happened to the date who asked me the question too.. because I won’t  compromise my friendship with my exes the date had to end shortly. 

What would you have done? 

I believe whoever says she likes me has to respect my choices and vice versa. But like I said before, with clear boundaries. The time I spend, the conversations have to have clear boundaries and those boundaries have to be communicated to my current partner/lover. And it is possible to have genuine friendships as long as this is kept well. 

What about you? What would you do if your partner/lover wants to be friends with their exes? And what kind of boundaries would you draw with your exes if you were to establish friendship with them?