Recently, I talked to a woman about her girlfriend, and it made me think. She said her girlfriend “deserved a beating” but felt she couldn’t raise her hands. It was strange that she wanted us to notice her restraint, even though she thought her girlfriend deserved punishment. It was sad to see how ideas about violence can enter our lives, even in queer communities that want to be accepting.

This moment showed me how toxic masculinity can affect our views on love and conflict. The idea that someone deserves to be hit, even if not acted on, is troubling. We need to challenge these harmful beliefs and create spaces where respect is the focus. Encouraging healthier ways to solve problems, without violence or aggression, is important for supporting each other in our relationships.