Growing up in Ethiopia, homosexuality was taught to be wrong from an early age. I don’t remember ever hearing anything different. Everything was presented to us in black and white, clearly marked rights and wrongs. Even our older siblings acted with hatred toward anything outside the norm. Of course, religious beliefs played a role in this, but siblings were our role models, and we took their words to heart. Everything changed when a close friend came out to me. That experience was deeply educational. There was a lot of unlearning to do, and that friendship is what helped me grow as a person.

Our bond became stronger because it taught me about trust. In a place where being yourself can be dangerous and isolating, my friend chose to confide in me. That trust didn’t change how I felt about them. It made me incredibly happy that they felt safe enough to open. I’m no longer dependent on my siblings’ opinions; I’m older now and I’ve learned to think for myself. That’s how I came to understand things differently. You can’t always believe everything your parents and community teach you. When you’re young, you’re often afraid to have your own opinion but with time, you learn to let go of that fear. I stopped accepting everything the world throws at me, including homophobic nonsense. I began to question what I believed and why.

I honestly don’t understand younger people being homophobic today. I get it with our parents’ generation, they lacked access to resources and information. But now, with so much information at our fingertips, choosing to be hateful is a choice I can’t wrap my head around. I try to respect religious beliefs, but what about basic human rights? Why are we so pressed about how others experience love and intimacy?

I hope we can learn to mind our own business and treat others with kindness. May we keep learning and unlearning until the end.